Everyone wants the secret to better classroom behavior. Naturally, we want to encourage kids to be their best selves. We want them to make the right choices, treat each other with kindness, and overall be good humans. We also need to teach them, but that is nearly impossible if we find ourselves constantly troubleshooting behavioral problems.
Sometimes it feels like no matter what we do, classroom behavior is still a problem. So why is it that sometimes a teacher’s classroom will run like clockwork? Is there a secret formula that some teachers know? Sometimes it feels like the things that used to work just don’t anymore. Could it be that the world has really changed THAT much? Is it just that parents don’t know how to discipline their kids these days? Could it be that things will keep getting worse every year, driving more teachers away from the profession?
Teachers everywhere are expected to do more, with fewer resources and less support. Part of the problem is that many of us were trained on old-school consequences and punishment. Or maybe you experienced that as a young person, and you don’t know a better way to make things work. Those tools were supposed to fix behavior. They don’t, not on their own.
Why Old-School Discipline Doesn’t Work Anymore
The old school way of teaching isn’t going to work like it used to. If what you have tried feels like it is not working, that is because these types of consequences and punishment are not actually effective tools for managing behavior on their own. There are certainly strategies that can help, and what you are currently doing is not for nothing. We even have videos with some of these strategies in mind to help get you started.
This feels hard because it is hard. You are living through one of the most volatile periods in education. You are going to work every day in maybe the most difficult time there has ever been to be a teacher. THIS IS HARD. AND… we can figure this out. We can keep going and still make a difference in this profession we love. And one of the best ways is to make sure we have set clear expectations with our student, with their parents, and most importantly with ourselves.
1. Set The Foundation For Better Classroom Behavior
We’ve done this already! If you need a refresher, click here for the blog on classroom management essentials.
The best course of action is always to set a strong foundation to build on. So make sure to set clear expectations with your students. Tell them early and often what you are expecting of them. Now, you probably know this already. In fact, you have probably already tried this! But listen closely because here is where things start to fall apart for most people. Let’s take the lining up scenario, for example. Many teachers will do the first part and then leave it alone. You tell the kids to get in line and tell them what you expect while getting in line. But then, while they ACTUALLY get in line, you are grabbing your keys or taking a sip of water or opening the door. All very natural things that you can and should be doing! But it’s where things can crumble really easily.
You have to complete the loop. Reinforce the expectations in the very moment it happens, and then try again if it is not up to standard. Yes, it takes longer. Yes, that means you might be late to recess. So, you give the expectation and then you need to hold the expectation until every student has followed it before moving on to grabbing your keys and taking a sip of water. If they lose it, start over. The best course of action is always to set a strong foundation for better classroom behavior.
2. Do The Inconvenient Thing
This work is inconvenient, and maybe that’s why many people don’t succeed. Managing behavior is inconvenient. It goes against the path of least resistance. One thing that is always shocking to me is just how often I have to stop in the middle of what I am doing to attain the result I am looking for. Did you sit down at your computer moments ago to respond to a quick email? Someone is dumping out boxes of toys, so you’d better get up to reset your own expectations and try again. You must be ready to do some variation of this day in and day out.
Even when you are tired, even when it is easier to look away and ignore, or shout from across the room. “The interruption of your own flow is something you should plan for and expect. (You guys, I’m talking to myself here. It is so hard!) This is a long-term investment, not a short-term fix. Old school consequences and punishment feel faster, but fast isn’t the same as effective. Your classroom climate will be better if you manage your expectations first!”
3. Pick Up The Phone
When you have students who consistently fail to meet expectations, whether intentional or not, it is time to involve caregivers, guardians, or parents.* Our goal is to prevent problems before they start, but we all know that, unfortunately, behavior issues might still happen. To the greatest extent possible, pick up the phone or do this in person. If you must send an email, the best practice is to let them know you would like to schedule a time to talk over the phone or in person about some concerns. 100% of the time, this conversation will be received more positively when the parent can hear your tone and, especially, see you face-to-face.
Reaching out to a parent accomplishes several things at once. This may be the perfect time to share with them some of your classroom policies and ways that you manage this type of behavior in the classroom. You may even suggest they watch some of our classroom management videos or social-emotional learning videos on Heidisongs.tv. The benefits go beyond that, though. It signals to the family that you hold high expectations and intend to uphold them, setting the tone for your relationship going forward. It also sends a clear message to the child: you follow through. You communicate with the adults in their life. This is a perfect example of natural consequences: the child misbehaves at school, and people they love find out about it!
Conversations with the Parent
This child now knows that the behavior they’re displaying in your classroom won’t go unnoticed or be ignored. Perhaps most importantly, early contact opens the door for harder conversations down the road. You cannot reasonably expect a family to receive news about a counseling referral or a request for further support if you’ve never spoken with them before about the smaller moments. Pro tip: Document every conversation, or at least document that a conversation took place. This may help you later on if things need to escalate!
If the idea of this totally freaks you out, you are not alone. Remember, you are the voice of authority here. Step into it with kindness and compassion for the person on the other side of the discussion.
4. Repetition Is Key
Humans are impatient, adults and children alike. For a child, this may look like asking about recess time every few minutes. For adults, this probably looks like expecting a child to comply and understand after only one or two explanations. The problem is that a child’s brain doesn’t work that way.
Research tells us that children need far more repetition than we often expect before better classroom behavior truly sticks. So, no matter the expectation, be a more patient human and repeat daily, hourly, every few minutes if needed! You can lower the bar for your own expectations without lowering your expectations for student behavior. Read that again. Expect to have to repeat more than you’d like. Expect students NOT to get it right away, and be okay with continual practice.
Another important element to remember about repetition and maintaining high expectations is that there is always a chance to try again. Each moment is a fresh opportunity to redirect and re-teach. And, each moment is a fresh opportunity for a child to make a better choice. There should always be a chance for them to try again.
5. Walk Away From The Power Struggle
Repetition is great, giving plenty of opportunities and setting expectations are excellent, but it’s also important to know when to cut things off. When you find yourself in the midst of a power struggle, it is time to walk away. Maybe the child is shouting at you in refusal. Maybe you have an audience of classmates watching, and things are not going well. If the situation is escalating, in whatever context, it might be time to disengage. Engaging in a power struggle with a student fuels the fire and makes the situation worse. Detaching yourself is one of the most effective ways to work toward better classroom behavior over time.
Here’s how: calmly explain your expectation one last time. Explain what will happen if they choose to ignore. Reiterate that it is, indeed, their choice. Then walk away. You’ll circle back later on during a natural break in the day, have a conversation with the student once the heated moment has passed, and follow up however you need to. It might look a little something like this:
“I need you to [expectation]. If you choose not to, [consequence] will happen. It’s your choice. I’ll come talk to you in a little bit.”
[Walk away.]
[Later, during a natural break:]
“Hey. Let’s talk about what happened earlier. What could you do differently next time?”
Why Disengagement is Effective
Through this interaction, the teacher has maintained authority while demonstrating that pushback will be met with disengagement. If the function of the behavior is attention-seeking, the student will learn that this approach is ineffective.
If the function is access, they will similarly discover that pushing back does not get them what they want. The goal is to extinguish the conflict between teacher and student, and disengagement is one of the most effective ways to accomplish that.
From there, additional consequences can be implemented if necessary, and the repair process can begin. Remember, tone of voice matters as much as the words themselves. Delivered calmly and without sarcasm, this approach can be remarkably effective. Delivered with visible frustration, even the right words lose their impact.
But I’ve Already Tried All That!
You might be thinking, “Well, that’s all nice and great, but I’m past that point with a student. What do I do now?” And that’s a fair point. Sometimes, managing expectations isn’t enough for some students. That kind of discussion deserves its own full blog post, but these strategies are your starting point for better classroom behavior. So stay tuned for the next blog in this series: addressing skill gaps, and then also here on what to do if everything else has failed!
*For our purposes today, I use the term “parent” here. However, I do recognize there are many, many instances where you will be speaking to another guardian or caregiver.
About the Author:
Kim Giron is an early childhood professional with decades of classroom experience. She has experience from preschool through primary elementary school. Most of her time has been spent in Transitional Kindergarten (California’s version of pre-kindergarten in public school) through 1st Grade. She currently teaches TK and has for 12 years, so many of the references or examples she may generate are informed by that. One further note of clarification: None of the scenarios you read here represent specific students in her classroom, current or past.
Disclaimers:
Kim is a classroom teacher. She is not an education specialist, psychologist, therapist, or counselor. That means the strategies and guidance she shares are generally designed for a broad, general education audience. However, if you are supporting a child with unique needs, including neurodivergence, a learning disability, sensory or physical differences, trauma, or other unique circumstances, please seek guidance from professionals with specialized training in those areas.
Additionally, Kim’s strategies for success and experience have been developed specifically while working with children in 3rd grade and below. Strategies will be different for students who are in upper elementary and beyond, especially in a whole-group setting. If that is your population, please connect with someone who specializes in that age group.
Images in this post were created with the assistance of AI.
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